about Me

about Me

Saturday, October 13, 2018

PEOPLE MAGAZINE #8yearslater


Jeff Truesdell Appreciate your trust in allowing me to share your story — and it’s obvious how you have only continued to enlighten and inspire. You will always have my respect and admiration.
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Jim Swilley Hey, Jeff! So good to hear from you! The respect and admiration is mutual, and I’ll always remember how much your kindness and professionalism meant to me at the time...still does. A lot of good things came into my life as a result of that article. Glad we’re still in touch!

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Tamara Stoops I read it then, was inspired by the article and found you on FB❤️ I think you're an amazing human.
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Jim Swilley Thanks, Tamara...I’m so glad you found it!
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THANK YOU


Melissa Floyd Hall All these years later.....and there is never ever an October 13 that goes by that I don't think back to that night....sitting there with at least 100 knots in my stomach waiting for you to begin to speak....knowing that love never fails, but also having no idea how the community, and world at large would respond. Other than my kids, I am not sure I have ever felt so protective over another human being than I was of you at that moment. As your truth flowed out, my anxiety began to turn to relief and then finally I had this overwhelming sense of peace settle in. I left with so much excitement and happiness in my heart. You did what someone very close to me could not find the courage to do and it ultimately cost them their happiness and their life. That night , watching you living out my friend's dream of being authentic healed a wound in me. I remember I was on such an adrenaline high that I found it hard to sleep that night. There are many reasons that you will always be a part of my life but October 13 was one of those moments that must be similar to being in a foxhole during wartime with a fellow soldier. When you go through something like that with someone, there's a bond that goes beyond words. I am still as proud of you today as I was that night all those years ago. <3 span="">

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Jim Swilley Wow...no words...thank you so, so much for that...<3 span=""> <3 span=""> <3 span="">

Manage


THANKS FOR THE GOOD WORDS!




Monday, August 13, 2018

HAPPY LEFTHANDERS DAY!


I was born left-handed.

I didn't become left-handed because I started writing with my left hand.

If I had never written anything in my life, I would still be left-handed, because that's how my brain is wired.

Left handedness was not a lifestyle choice for me...it is an innate reality in my life.

If I were to break my hand, wrist or arm, and as a result was forced to start writing with my right hand, I would still not be right-handed. I would not eventually become right-handed. Writing with the wrong hand would never feel natural to me, and it would not change my orientation.

If I made the decision to write with my right hand to conform to the norm for whatever reason, I could possibly do it, especially if I had to, but I would still think and feel and observe the world as a left-hander. Living as a right-handed person would simply mean that I would have to live my life as an imposter.

Only 10% of the world's population is left-handed, so it's understandable that the other 90% of humanity might be predisposed to believe that right-handedness is right and normal. It would also be understandable that the 90% might find it difficult to empathize with or even understand the way that the other 10% lived and moved and had their being.  It would also be plausible to believe that ancient people who didn't fully understand diversity or human brain chemistry could or would presume that "normal" was equivalent to "good",  and that they could or would develop a theology or belief system that supported that notion. They might even go so far as to create a God in their own image who would make laws that would reinforce their belief that everyone should be like them. And if that God was impotent to change the 10%, the right-handers (especially in medieval times) might even create modes of execution to punish left-handers, like burning them at the stake.

The right-handers might try to convert the left-handers, but then they might become discouraged when they realized that the left-handed people couldn't be converted, even if they were forced to write with their right hands, so they might ultimately accept that left-handed people are indeed born that way, but that they can never act on it so as not to displease the right-handed God. They can never write or use a fork or a spoon or a knife or scissors or paint or draw or throw a ball or use a tennis racket or do any other thing with the hand that their brain tells them to use, because left-handedness is abnormal, and can never be accepted by them. In their hearts, they might know that this notion is absurd, cruel and irrational, but their allegiance to the writings of the ancient right-handed people might force them to hold to ridiculous platitudes like, "Love the left-hander, hate the left-hand!"

I want to live in a world where everyone knows that left-handedness is just a fact of nature...that 10% of the population is left-handed...always has been...always will be. It's not a good thing or a bad thing, it just is. I want a world in which the right-handed people are not afraid that the world is become left-handed, or that society is conforming to a left-handed agenda, or that right-handedness is threatened in any way. I want right-handed parents to love and support their left-handed children, and to love them as they are. I want to live in a world where left-handed people aren't forced to eat and write with their right hands, and can just live their life in the way that feels normal to them.

Most of all, I want to live an a world where left-handed people just love and accept themselves as they are, regardless of what right-handed people think, or of what ancient right-handers thought about God or about concepts of right and wrong. I want right-handed people to just accept left-handed people, and let them live their lives, and then simply mind their own business.

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I was born gay.

I didn't become gay because I had sex with a person of the same sex.

If I had gone to my grave completely celibate, I would still be gay, because that's how I'm wired.

Being gay was not a lifestyle choice for me...it is an innate reality in my life.

Dating women, becoming engaged to women, marrying women, even more than once...even having children with them...did not make me straight. Being married to women for the majority of my adult life never changed my orientation. At all.

I made the decision at a very young age to live my life as a straight man in order to please God, adhere to the Bible, maintain the ministry that I was called to, make my family happy, and be able to fit into my world, but none of it ever changed my inner reality. I learned by necessity to live my life as an imposter.

Only 10% of the world's population is gay, so it's understandable that the other 90% of humanity might be predisposed to believe that heterosexuality is right and normal (#goddidntmakeadamandstevehemadeadamandeve). It would also be understandable that the 90% might find it difficult to empathize with or even understand the way that the other 10% lived and moved and had their being.  It would also be plausible to believe that ancient people who didn't fully understand diversity or human brain chemistry could or would presume that "normal" was equivalent to "good",  and that they could or would develop a theology or belief system that supported that notion. They might even go so far as to create a God in their own image who would make laws that would reinforce their belief that everyone should be like them. If that God was impotent to change the 10%, the straight people living in ancient times might even create modes of execution to punish gay people, like stoning them with stones until they were dead.

Religious people have tried to convert gay people for centuries, but many have become discouraged upon realizing that conversion therapy, "deliverance", exorcism, etc. doesn't work, even when gay people are forced by society to live as straight people. Many have ultimately accepted that gay people are indeed born that way, but that they can never act on it so as not to displease the heterosexual God. They can never date or marry or have any kind of satisfying human relationship on any level with another person in any way that feels perfectly normal to them, because same-sex attraction is "abnormal", and can never be accepted by them. In their hearts, they might know that this notion is absurd, cruel and irrational, but their allegiance to the writings of the ancient heterosexuals forces them to hold to ridiculous platitudes like, "Love the sinner, hate the sin!" Even the ones who consider themselves to be followers of Jesus have to intentionally ignore the fact that He never said a word about homosexuality.

I want to live in a world where everyone knows that same-sex attraction and same-sex pairing is just a fact of nature, evident in at least 1,500 different species of animals...that 10% of the population is gay...always has been...always will be. It's not a good thing or a bad thing, it just is. I want a world in which straight people are not afraid that the world is become gay, or that society is conforming to a gay agenda, or that heterosexuality is threatened in any way. I want straight parents to love and support their gay children, and to love them as they are. I want to live in a world where LGBT people aren't forced to live in an unnatural way.

Most of all, I want to live an a world where all LGBT people just love and accept themselves as they are, regardless of what some straight people or religious fundamentalists think, or of what ancient heterosexuals thought about God or about concepts of right and wrong. I wan't straight people to just accept LGBT people, and let them live their lives, and then simply mind their own business.

Happy International Left-handers Day!

You're beautiful, just as you are!