IN TODAY'S INBOX

Just wanted to share this excerpt from a beautiful message that I just received...letters like this make it all worthwhile...

"...Then I heard about you and your church in Conyers. I am disabled and it is difficult for me to get around and I never got to come to your church. But I bought and read several of your books and I felt like I wasn't all alone anymore. You sort of opened the door for me to religion again. Now I don't feel like ALL ministers are preaching beliefs that are so opposite what I have come to believe God and Jesus want us to be. 

I know when you came out several years ago, you lost a LOT. Even though you are happy now and in a great place and wouldn't change a thing, it still had to hurt bad. There have to be times when you think about that and it stings, you wouldn't be human if you didn't. But, I want you to know what a Hero I think you are! You will never know the exact number of lives you saved (literally)!! But they are out there, kids who are alive today because they saw your courage and your reassurance that it is okay to be who they are, that God loves them just the way they are and that things WILL get better for them.  

I went to the wedding of two of my friends last summer and it was the most beautiful and emotional wedding I've ever been to, everyone was crying. They had been together 17 years but said they never thought, in their lifetime, they would be able to legally marry. You could see just how much being able to do something, that straight people take for granted, meant to them. By you being brave and sharing with the world, you impacted their lives. Maybe same sex marriage would have happened anyway, but you sure helped speed it up because you helped change public opinion. You helped other people that weren't gay, but were struggling with other problems because they saw your courage.  

I'm not gay and I've never even met you face to face, but you've made my life better too. Your honesty and bravery to do the 'right' thing and not fold to just what other people wanted and expected you to do (even though you knew it was going to cost you dearly) is quite an inspiration to me and so many others. I don't feel like a 'Heathen' like I used to because I didn't fall in line with the preachings I grew up with (My mother told me to the day she died that I was going to Hell).  

If you DO ever have a day where you get down or think about how much you lost by being real and honest and true to yourself, please just think of what I've said above about the thousands of lives you've touched, inspired, and literally saved from death! You've made a difference in the world. Now, that's something God can be proud of you for!! I'M SO SORRY! I didn't mean to write a book here (hope you weren't eating dinner when you read this or your food is cold now)! I just thought you might enjoy this article...and I've been meaning to write you the other stuff, I just haven't gotten around to it. You don't have to write me back. I know you get lots and lots of other messages and you are busy.....I just wanted you to know."

- CB

YOU'VE GOT TO BE CAREFULLY TAUGHT

Click here for 'One On One with Jim Swilley #28'

'You've Got to be Carefully Taught'

Music by Richard Rodgers, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II 

You've got to be taught

To hate and fear,

You've got to be taught

From year to year,

It's got to be drummed

In your dear little ear

You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught to be afraid

Of people whose eyes are oddly made,

And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,

You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,

Before you are six or seven or eight,

To hate all the people your relatives hate,

You've got to be carefully taught!

LOVE STORY

PHOTOS BY KEN MARSHALL

This morning I was privileged to perform a very special wedding ceremony for two sweet and charming people who are totally in love with each other, and have been for a very long time...

Harold and Dan have been in a committed, monogamous relationship for 45 years, but today they were finally able to make it legal and get married in the state of North Carolina, because of the recent changes there...

We drove up to Cherokee last evening to meet them and to get a game plan for this morning's event...we had a great time getting to know both of them, and hearing the stories of their nearly five decades together...

Dan is 80, and is suffering from stroke-induced dementia, but he absolutely knew what was going on today, and was able to answer "I do" at the appropriate time...he has a very sweet spirit, and we loved him immediately...

Ken's mom died from Alzheimer's disease a few years ago, and after meeting Harold and Dan last night, he told me that Dan watches Harold intently when he speaks in the exact same way that Ken's mom used to watch his dad before she transitioned...he was very moved by their connection to one another, which is now beyond verbal communication, but is undoubtedly genuine...

Harold is Dan's total caregiver, and is one of the most devoted men that I have ever met...Dan is the most important thing in the world to him...prior to last evening, I only knew Harold through FB, where he comes across as a funny, outspoken, (often irreverent) larger-than-life personality...but the man I met last night and spent time with today is the epitome of unconditional love...his absolute commitment to Dan, the love of his life, is nothing short of inspirational...

Today turned out to be a perfect day in every way...every part of it...I/we were blessed to be involved with the festivities...

I hope that Harold doesn't mind me going ahead and writing something about this...Ken took pics today, and put them together in this collage a little while ago, and so I decided to just go ahead and say what was on my heart...

To any person who is still opposed to marriage equality for whatever reason, I can only say that if you could spend a little time with these two gentlemen who have lived together for nearly half a century...if you could see how patient and tender Harold is with Dan, and how completely dependent on Harold Dan is...if you could witness their love in person, I think that you would change your mind...

What God has joined together let not man put asunder...

Congratulations, gentlemen...all the best to you!

CHURCH IN THE NOW MIDTOWN IN THE GA VOICE

CLICK HERE FOR ARTICLE: http://www.thegavoice.com/community/sports/6732--religious-organizations-at-pride-in-abundance - Or read it here (paragraphs about CHURCH IN THE NOW MIDTOWN in blue)

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RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATIONS AT PRIDE IN ABUNDANCE

Written by Ryan McKenzie

Friday, 25 October 2013 12:47

Religion is often a controversial, hot button issue when it comes to the LGBT community. Although many of the more devout members of various faiths are notoriously anti-gay, numerous Christian churches as well as the LGBT-led Congregation Bet Haverim came to the 43rd annual Atlanta Pride to show their support and love for those who identify as LGBT. Pride festival attendee confronts anti-gay protestor, who refused to reveal the name of the church he attends. Clearly, they were in the majority. However, there was a small contingent of anti-LGBT individuals – most armed with placards quoting Biblical scripture – who attended specifically to protest. St. Mark’s United Methodist Church has been attending Atlanta Pride for several years and is a well-known place of worship in the Atlanta gay community. Eighty percent of the congregation is LGBT, according to church member Larry Lucas. St. Mark’s has seen its fair share of opposition, especially from First Baptist Church of Atlanta. “They were boycotting us because of our support for LGBT people, but First Baptist is no longer in Midtown. They moved to Marietta,” said Lucas. The Episcopal Church has several locations throughout the metro Atlanta area that are welcoming of the LGBT community. This year marked the 25th anniversary of Atlanta’s chapter of Integrity, which is the national Episcopal organization for its LGBT members. The Catholic Shrine of the Immaculate Conception displayed its booth to let Pride goers know that the Catholic Church is accepting of LGBT people, despite statements made by the previous Pope. “We believe that everyone deserves God’s love. We are open and accepting, no matter who you are,” said Immaculate Conception member Joe Agostini. Bishop Jim Swilley of Midtown’s Church In The Now made a bold move when he came out to his congregation a few years ago. He claimed to have lost about 2,000 of his members when he revealed that he was gay. However, he is impressed with the progress that has been made since his church has been affiliated with Pride.  “This is our third year, and each year I have been able to tell how much things have progressed,” said Swilley. “The first year I was here, I didn’t notice any families or straight couples, but this year I have seen so many people with kids and even straight couples attending. Pride is sort of a touchstone for me to see how much things have progressed, and this has been the best one yet.” Although messages of love and tolerance from churches resounded throughout Piedmont Park, there were some with a not-so-accepting ideology just beyond the park’s gates. Protestors with blaring megaphones and signs touting hate and intolerance towards gays gathered outside of the park to let Pride goers know that their church viewed the LGBT community as immoral. This led to several shouting matches between the protestors and those attending Pride. One group of Pride members sang Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” to counter protest the negative messages. One protestor, who called himself “Brother Ben” but would not identify the specific church he was affiliated with, claimed to be “upholding the righteousness of the Bible and Jesus Christ.” When asked if he would be attending the Sunday parade, Brother Ben said, “Oh yeah. We’ll be here for that. We’ve been coming to this for 13 years.” The array of churches and religious representatives with differing viewpoints on the LGBT community that showed up at Pride exemplified the contrasting attitudes among denominations. In response to the religious protestors, Swilley said this: “Everybody has a right to say their thing. My issue with these guys is if they feel so passionate about six verses in the Bible, then why aren’t they everywhere where people are doing things that go against the Bible? I don’t understand why they are picking on this [LGBT] group specifically.”

Yes, Jared Swilley is My Son! Part II

A couple of hours ago I spoke to Jared (my oldest son) in Manchester, England, where he and his band are currently playing. They are doing very well, about to release a new album, and will be featured on the cover of Spin Magazine next month. I've already written about him and the band on my other blog (www.bloginthenow.blogspot.com) "Yes, Jared Swilley is My Son!" - March 14, 2008).

Anyway, after we ended our conversation, I started thinking about all that has happened in the last year, and was reminded of a letter that Jared sent me last July. At the time, I had come out to him and my three other children, but I had no plans to ever publicly say anything about the real reason why I had gone through a very unexpected and surprising divorce. I thought that if I ever told the church about my orientation, I would most likely lose my ministry, and so I just went with the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" concept, in order to keep things afloat in a ministry that was already having financial challenges.

But then, in September/October, there was an unprecedented spate of gay teen suicides...so many that it had a profound effect on me, and made me feel that I had no choice but to tell the whole truth about myself. My intention was to possibly help change some attitudes and misoncpetions about people with same-sex attraction. And the rest, as they say, is history.

This type of letter was completely out of character for Jared...really surprised me...and it had a great impact on my thinking. It's as much a factor in my coming out publicly as anything else, really. He may not want me to share it (I didn't ask his permission)...but here I am nearly a year later, and I want to use it as a point of reference.

I didn't lose the ministry (the gifts and callings of God are without repentance), but I've definitely lost a lot. Most of the pastors I covered for years don't speak to me any more, and, even though it's not the reason we lost our property, I'm sure that many of our people left CITN because of it, and so it has had an indirect effect on our ability to maintain a megachurch.

But despite all that, I still have a wonderful relationship with all four of my kids, and that's one of the most important things to me. I have no regrets. I am blessed. The online gay watchdog groups that write about me so much will probably have a field day with this, and so, in a sense I'm throwing my son to the sharks in posting it. Whatever. They and their bloggers are so extremely hateful and mean-spirited that I don't take them seriously as being anything with moral authority...they don't talk about the Gospel, they just obsess about me and people like me. Anyway, I love this letter and I love my son. The picture above is of him and me in 1985 when he was two...


Dad,

(please ignore my punctuational and grammatical errors, I woke up in the middle of the night and am writing a stream of consciousness email)

I have obviously been thinking about everything that has happened recently. I was asleep but have been tossing and turning the last few hours. I have never heard a "calling" or felt like God has spoken to me (something has). My relationship with God is fleeting and sort of intimidating. That's a whole other issue (don't worry I am not an atheist, I just question a lot).

I have been thinking about how D.E. told you you could be like an MLK to the gay community. While I think that is somewhat of an extreme statement (like someone comparing me to John Lennon), it does ring true. I have come to feel very strongly about this issue. I was always proud of the fact that I came from a family that upheld human dignity and equality. I even brag about Uncle Earl's supposed signing of the Atlanta Manifesto sometimes. I have always felt a special sense of history and accomplishment, being from an Atlanta family that helped overcome what is, in my opinion, this country's greatest obstacle.

Knowing that your and Grandad's generation was there to fight for other humans to actually be treated like humans with dignity makes me feel very proud, and this place was the epicenter of that struggle. I just listened to a speech Kennedy made about the plight of the "Negros". The fact that in 1963 he had to actually refer to them as Negros blows my mind. BUT what's worse is that they weren't granted full civil rights until 1964 (when you were 6) That's even crazier. My point is that, whatever it is, I don't know what, maybe just intuition, I have been spoken to by something. Maybe my own mind...maybe God... this doesn't happen to me. Before I get to my point I want to say that, although we haven't actually spoken more than usual, I have never felt closer to you in my life. I feel like I understand you a lot more. You are finally yourself. I feel like that, myself. We are both outsiders in a sense, and lead strangely parallel lives in a sense. I am comfortable with myself after a lot of doubt. I made myself on my own, as did you.

I'm rambling now. I just want to say that I know you have a MASSIVE operation and you are in a strange place. I also think that you can change thousands of lives if you talk about who you are. There are millions of people in your situation...not the exact one, but similar. You always told me that I can survive without the Black Lips. I know that's true. You can also survive on your own. You have such an amazing ability to connect and reach people, especially outsiders. That, coupled with the fact that you are completely honest, and have zero bullshit attached, is a goldmine of human progress waiting to happen.

You have always been making people think. You have challenged beliefs that were not subject to thought. You have questioned your own beliefs and have grown with them. You seek knowledge and understanding. You are the only reason I don't vomit when I think of the notion of a church or God. There are almost no voices in America that speak rationally, right or left. I couldn't sleep because you have something to say. And I believe that it is very important. I can't say it, but you are really an expert at this. Not saying you have to be a "gay" preacher, but I don't think you should have to pander to outdated and ignorant attitudes that hate for no reason either. I really feel like this is your moment to be who you are and say EXACTLY what you want. You have your message, and it's one I actually believe in.

Humans are humans. I understand it's a lot, but I really feel like you should come out (as you hate to say) to the public. If you lose the church, that sucks. It's not the end of the world though. You NEVER did anything close to being wrong. You are one of the only honest preachers out there. I even consider you more of a teacher and a mover. I feel good after hearing you speak and actually reflect on it (and I don't dig church). YOU ARE GREAT AT IT. I'm not saying to give up the church, I just think this could be a new beginning. Things change. A lot. And maybe you should come back to the city. You have helped countless people, but I think you could help a lot more that would have never heard you otherwise. I think it's really important for you, and many other people that have no voice.

You are still young, and I think you could make a huge difference. There are still massive human rights issues in this country. Homosexuals, among others, have no voice in this country. They need a responsible one that doesn't alienate them further. You embody that. I would like to see you find someone that you love, eventually. Unfortunately you would not be allowed to be married, and that is completely unacceptable. I have never pictured myself actually working with you before. Not saying I am now, either, or that you would even be down with that. But I do feel very emotionally connected to this. This is a real thing happening in our time and it needs to stop. People can not be marginalised for their genetics. It is the same thing as hating someone for their skin hue.

Sorry for the long rant, but it's easier to write in passion then spout out on the phone.

Love,

Jared

Jared and me in Peru a few years ago, building a Habitat for Humanity house...

Osama Bin Laden is Dead

As an American, I join in with the rest of the country in breathing a collective sigh of relief in knowing that Osama Bin Laden has been removed from the world stage, and I applaud the obviously successful efforts of our (American-born) Commander-In-Chief (who has had a very good week, by the way) and the amazing soldiers who executed a virtually flawless raid on the Pakistani mansion/compound belonging to Bin Laden. I wish it hadn't taken so long to find him, especially since he has obviously been hiding in plain sight, and I regret that we are still at war in Iraq and Afghanistan...but at least he's gone, and at least it happened before the up-coming 10th anniversary of 9/11.

Being as patriotic as the next guy, I was moved by the spontaneous celebrations that broke out at the White House and in Times Square and at Ground Zero last night, and I certainly don't want to be insensitive to the pain of the families who lost loved ones on that horrible September morning a decade ago...families that will never have full closure from the atrocities of that day, no matter who is assassinated...but I am sober today. Relieved? Yes. Happy? Not really...at least not totally.

Just yesterday I preached on "The Fruit of the Spirit is Kindness", and even though what was done in Pakistan in the last few hours apparently had to be done, I can't in good conscience rejoice in the death of anyone, no matter how evil they are. Am I glad he's gone? No doubt about it. I'm glad to know that we don't have to dread another of his videos coming out that shows he's still alive and still a threat to our safety. But I am grieved that we live in a world where this kind of thing still has to happen at all.

The President gave a short but brilliant speech last night, in which he pointed out that Osama Bin Laden does not represent Islam, and he's right about that. In fact, Bin Laden has killed more Muslims than he has any other group. But where my mind is today is that the real enemy is not Osama Bin Laden or any other person...it's religious fundamentalism.

Fundamentalism kills...be it Muslim or Christian or that of any other religious persuasion. The Crusades, The Spanish Inquisition, the Holocaust, the violence between Protestants and Catholics in Ireland, the Ku Klux Klan, the Taliban, etc...it's all about religious intolerance, and people are vicitimized by religious intolerance on some level every day.

Today I'm proud to be an American. I'm proud of our President and our troops. I love my country, and I want it to be safe. But I'm really, really tired of religious fundamentalism, and all the hatred and death that it inevitably causes.

Terrorism happens every day in the name of religion...believe me, I know of what I speak.

Just wanted to share some thoughts.

God bless America...